INSOMNIA - do [I] have it? do [YOU] have it??

INSOMNIA

Insomnia is a sleep disorder characterized by an inability to fall asleep and/or the inability to remain asleep for a reasonable period.
Insomniacs typically complain of being unable to close their eyes or "rest their mind" for more than a few minutes at a time.
Insomniacs do sleep, but for only short periods of time, and they don't get the same rest as other people.
Insomniacs usually stay up later than others, take longer to fall asleep (if at all), and wake up less alert and less rested.

am i an insomniac? *shiver* i hope not... but i just cant fall asleep... and it isnt even happening in random cycles either... its continuous... i googled that definition up there and its exactly how it is for me... i feel tired sometimes... only, the part where i wake up less alert, i dont... i wake up alert as if i DID sleep... so that isnt the case for me...

its been happening since about three years ago... just almost everynite i dont fall asleep until the end of school the next day which was around 6pm which is the time i get home and ill wake up an hour later and have no sleep untill the same time the next day...

at first i was somewat ok with it cuz i actually dont wanna sleep (imma freak let me be that way... lol) but after a few months i was runnin outta things to do while everyone was asleep so i got bored and decided to actually go to sleep like evryone else in ma house but unfortunately i cudnt sleep...

its not that i dont feel sleepy either... i do feel sleepy and ill yawn every 10 seconds, stretch every 2 minutes but i cant seem to close my eyes... ill lie down on my bed counting to one thousand (yes, 1000) and try to fall asleep but that never works...

so after a year i got used to it and sometimes it just makes me miserable but that happens very rarely... im rarely in a bad mood... even at school im always cheery and somewhat energetic... and i cant fall asleep at school either... i just cant... no matter how sleepy i was... wether there was a teacher or no teacher in class... i mean, some ppl at the back of the class were practically snoring when the teacher aint in... but i cant fall asleep if u wulda tied me up in my chair and taped my eyes closed... and i guess thats a good thing... if i were to sleep in class id miss the lessons and prolly flunk out all the time...

another funny thing is im always late to school... school starts at 7.20am and i arrive at 7.45 or maybe 8 sometimes... lol... and i was a prefect... how weird is that huh? i mean i dont sleep... or y'know sleep for about 2hrs which is usually frm 3am - 5am but i cant, for the love of God, seem to get my ass to school on time... u'd think that since i don't sleep i could get ready early and reach school before the first bell rings, but nooo... i had to reach school almost half an hour later... and it doesnt really help when ur dad wakes up so dang late either... hes not an insomniac but he just prefers to sleep late to catch football games... he sleeps at around 3am everyday and wakes up at 11.30 the next day... which is almost noon...

and nowadays since i hv no school anymore... i just watch animes a lot... like ive told yall already... lol...

strangely, the only thing that wud actually make me fall asleep and i mean really fall asleep like 10 hrs straight was watching my fave shows on tv late at night...

im not saying it works every time or anything, but sometimes (meaning rarely) ill fall asleep during these shows... like last night while watching 'grey's anatomy' (the show started at 11pm and finished at 12midnight) i actually fell asleep in the middle of the show and woke up at 10.30am this morning...

dang... it sucks that thats the only way i could actually get some real sleep... now i have to go catch the repeat... i think theres one at 1.30am sunday... i guess i should say 1.30am monday cuz its past 12 midnight... mah... whateva... i just gotta go catch it...

neway... i just thought itd be interesting to blog up this prob i got... i guess i do have insomnia... ill just pretend i dont tho... (i feel comfy living in the denial zone about this matter) do u have it too??

ja!!

-katsu-